Unconditional Love, or I Give My Dog a Shower

In what was maybe the most awkward situation I've experienced all week, I just finished giving my dog a bath... er, shower. See, I don't have an actual bathtub, just a walk-in shower, which makes it difficult when it's 30 degrees outside and my puppy Davie desperately needs a solution for his sandy paws. So I jumped right in there with him and gave him a shower, and he looked at me like I was nuts, but in that loving way. Here's the thing about my dog: he shows me unconditional love. And as crazy as it might sound, I feel like he's a little reflection of God's unconditional love for me.

This is the great thing about Davie - on days when I come home from work smelling like a strange conglomeration of hours-old pizza and sweat (that sounds really gross when I actually say it), he still comes running to the door, wagging his little tail ninety miles an hour, so excited to see me. He still snuggles right up next to me on my bed, laying his pint-sized head on my lap, looking up at me with eyes that make me melt. He doesn't judge me when my hair looks like Carrot Top's, or when I haven't put on even a smidge of makeup, or when I didn't properly remove all my mascara from the night before and slightly resemble a racoon. He still loves me just as much. And he doesn't laugh at me, not one bit.

He loves me even when I come home grumpy, or am having a case of the Sunday night "blahs", or am freaking out unnecessarily about my future. And he's a really good listener. Sometimes I find myself wishing he could talk, so I'd know what he's thinking, but at other times I am very content just to have a sweet little dog who listens to me ramble on.

Today I took him to the dog park. It was his first dog park experience, and I'm pretty sure he had the time of his life. Most of the time he was fine playing with the other, much bigger dogs, but a few times he was surrounded by a pack and got a bit frightened. And what did he do? He came running to me :) Not that I'm glad he was being threatened, but it warmed my heart just a little, like a big cup of steaming hot cocoa, when he sought shelter in my arms. It's just such an amazing thing to give and receive love. A lot of times I get discouraged with the world, and tired of people, but then I'm reminded of the word LOVE, and how I receive it unconditionally every day. From my little puppy, yes, but much more deeply, from God. Which if you stop to think about for 5 minutes, it blows your mind. We're talking about the creator of the entire universe here, loving little old inconsequential ME. That fact should change my life. And it should change yours.

A lesson in humility

We worship such an intelligent, wise God. That's sort of a broad statement, so let me narrow it down a little as it pertains to my life, particularly recently. First of all, I should note that my journey in the past few years has been quite different than my brother's, and that is a fact that has caused me distress, and even guilt at times. You see, he went straight from college to grad school, did wonderfully, married the first and only girl he ever dated, landed a great job, bought a house and puppy, had 2 kids, and... well, you get the picture. Me, on the other hand? I went to the same university as he did (best in the nation... ok, maybe I'm a bit biased), but after graduating, I jetted off to Spain for the entire summer (I should also note that I'm the first in my family to leave the country, save a short family vacation to Canada). It was one of the best summers of my life, and before going, I was intent on becoming a lawyer. Yep, I'd been admitted to law school, had an apartment with a couple of girls, was to start in the fall, the whole shebang. And then Spain happened, and changed the course of my life. I think that's how it always is, isn't it? Such a beautiful, captivating country like that can do nothing less than leave a lasting footprint on your life. For me, that took the form of dropping out of law school before I'd even started, with the intention of moving back to Spain. Oh, but God had other plans... it reminds me of that quote, how does it go? Oh yes: "If you want to see God laugh, tell him your plans." Indeed, I'm sure God got a chuckle out of ME telling HIM that I was moving back to Spain.

I'm a firm believer that God has a sense of humor. And instead of sending me back to the land of lisping Spanish accents and some of the most amazing architecture I'd ever seen, he led me to a place I never would have suspected: Santiago, Chile. I'll be perfectly honest - when I first visited Santiago, in August of 2006, I hated it. It was rainy and cold, and there was almost NO central heating to be found. But, long story made extremely, extremely short, I fell head-over-heels in love with Santiago, with Chile in general, and with the Chilean people. That country resonates deep in my heart today. You know that saying, "you can take the girl out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the girl"? Well, no one could ever, ever take Chile out of me. It's permanently etched in my mind, my heart, my soul. But I messed up, I chose a fleeting relationship over the work God had called me to do in Chile, and so I now find myself on a different path. A path that ultimately led to Wilmington, North Carolina, and to me meeting the love of my life. You see, God is a God of second chances. A God of grace. And I now find myself so grateful that I feel I should be permanently on my knees in prayer to him, for showing me such grace and mercy, and for blessing me with a second chance at the abundant life he promised.

Right now, I'm working at a job that is less than satisfying, but with the plan (ahhh, there's that tricky word again!) to start grad school soon, pursuing a Masters in Social Work. The thought excites me, and I can't wait to start, but right now I spend my days working at a job I dislike, and making very little money. But this is where God's wisdom again comes in... he knows me well, and he must have known I needed to be taught about humility, and that is certainly what I have been learning in the past year or so. I have had to depend on people like never before, particularly my family, and ask for money from people I never wanted to. I have indeed had to humble myself, and let me tell you... a lesson in humility is never an easy one. We live in a world where humility does not come naturally, nor is it really encouraged. But God, the all-powerful God of the universe, came to earth as a little baby. Does it really get more humble than that? And if he did that, the least I can do is bow before him and acknowledge that it is he who should be exalted above all. Even as I write that, I wonder if my life really reflects that. Actually, in thinking about my job, my job title is "server"... oh, the irony. So... what? I've learned what it means to serve other people when I'm being paid for it, or because I am being forced to do so... but do I really know what it means to serve others, and serve God, because I truly WANT to? At first glance, the idea of serving God may seem like a contradiction... that is, the Bible speaks many times about the FREEDOM we have in Christ, that we are no longer slaves... yes, but read on... we are no longer slaves to SIN. We are indeed free, but that freedom is a call to experience abundant life, as followers of Christ, and as servants of him. Not servants that are chained down and forced to serve an uncaring master - but servants who freely humble themselves in the pursuit of exalting the Creator of the universe.

I couldn't think of a more satisfying pursuit.

And here we are again...

Start. Inauguration. Kickoff. Commencement. Whatever you want to call it, I'm embarking on a new blogging adventure. I've made several blogging attempts (and failures) in the past, but one I kept for awhile was all about my time in Chile. However, that time has come to an end, and while I sit here wistfully recalling my life in Chile, I nevertheless find myself excited at the thought of re-opening what has become an incredible outlet for me. Albeit with a new subject, title, and haphazardly created template. When I think about the inception of this new blog, I find myself wondering what took me so long. What, indeed, took me so long to begin writing about the one thing I really SHOULD be writing about? And that is this crazy, beautiful, life-long pursuit of the Creator of the universe. A pursuit that so many of us set out on, with the best of intentions... and then, inevitably, we fall down. I've fallen many more times than I'd like to recall, but I'm so grateful that God is persistent, and he has oftentimes chased after me, in the most unlikely of ways. I worship an amazing, creative God, and hope that this blog will be an outlet for that, and for processing what he's constantly teaching me.

I'm not even sure where to start with this, so I guess I'll start with where I am, right now, at 12:54 a.m. Today was one of those days that makes you thankful to God for creating people, who then in turn created central heating. It was that type of cold that sinks down deep in your bones, almost taunting you. Seriously, I envision Ralph from The Simpsons pointing and laughing at me, with that characteristic, "Ha ha!"... oh bitter cold and rain, you won't get the best of me. And it didn't. I enjoyed a delicious day inside of reading, reading, more reading, making smores over my stove, listening to the pitter-patter of the rain outside, cozying up with my puppy, taking a nice, long, extra hot bubble bath while doing more reading, talking to the absolute love of my life... it's basically my way of spitting in the face of such nasty weather. And it was wonderful. And then, just as I was about to enact that little thing that I seem to be in such short supply of, self-discipline, and tear myself away from the computer... I came across two blogs that I absolutely fell in love with. One was a blog I'd never known existed, and one was by a fellow gringa I knew in Chile... that one, I'd fallen in love with before, but tonight I experienced that wonderful feeling of rediscovery as I stumbled across it again, after not having read it in months. Both of these bloggers are amazing writers, and if there is one word I could use to describe them, it would be: inspirational. You see, I happen to love writing too, but I haven't done much of it lately. But just as walking into an art gallery and seeing beautiful, breathtaking paintings is inspirational to an artist, reading beautifully written pieces is inspirational to a writer. And so I felt that I could no longer hide my head in the sand, and let busyness take over me... I had to write. So that's what I'm doing. And I haven't even completely decided yet if I'm going to make this blog available for anyone to read, but I've been thinking of at least allowing my boyfriend access to it. Because the truth is, we're on this spiritual journey together, and I think it would be beneficial for him to know where I am on it by reading my thoughts on said journey. All that said, this is more of an introductory post than anything, so I think I'll end this before I ramble on too much more. Oh yes, and the title of the blog comes from one of my favorite songs, sung by Alison Krauss. It's absolutely beautiful, and one day I'll post the lyrics. For now, Google is your friend.